Meeting Announcements

⇒ October 2009


October 14, 2009

***If you want to learn the secret to groping random, sexy women at will WITHOUT being arrested, then you MUST attend this meeting!***

GRIGORI RASPUTIN, a Russian mystic healer otherwise known as the “Mad Monk”, walked the streets of Moscow unkempt and unwashed (interestingly, recent studies reveal that horny, ovulating women are extremely attracted to male body odour). RASPUTIN would grab random, sexy women of any age, and drag them back to his lair for animalistic sex. Women accosted by him RARELY objected. His favourite type of tryst was the mother-daughter threesome (as is that of Dimitri The Lover). But unlike Dimitri The Lover, RASPUTIN was NOT an attractive man (Google him). And he was a TOTAL DOUCHEBAG to women. But he just kept getting laid. He would even host wild orgies where he passed his sloppy seconds off to other monks and close friends. He felt that it was neither natural nor healthy to repress these primal sexual urges.

PLEASE NOTE: Dimitri The Lover does NOT suggest going out unwashed to increase “body odour”. Instead, he recommends switching from regular deodorant, which masks your natural, musky, masculine odour & phermones, to pure BAKING SODA. Furthermore, BAKING SODA is much more effective in odour and sweat reduction than is regular deodorant. The Prophet has been using it for years and when he first substituted for it a decade ago, noticed a marked improvement in his FPA (Fuck Per Approach) Ratio. Also, the chemicals in all regular deodorants will feminize you, as discussed in the AUGUST MEETING ANNOUNCEMENT.

Like RASPUTIN, every man is born to be a sexually aggressive, predatory, TOTAL DOUCHEBAG toward every remotely fuckable slut he encounters. Even the shyest of men know that they have an unrepentant asshole deep inside their psyche that they wish they had the courage to suddenly and randomly unleash upon some unsuspecting, cockteasing slut. Every normal man fantasizes about grabbing women off the street, throwing them onto the ground, and RAPING the fuck out of them (especially if they dress slutty, act bitchy, and roll their eyes after being asked out on a date, as many women in Toronto do). It is bred into us to mercilessly seize then ravage any orifice we encounter … whether the slut is willing or not.

Why are men born to be RAPISTS and women born to be RAPEES? As a trained MEDICAL DOCTOR Dimitri The Lover understands that the true purpose of the ORGASM is to draw sperm up to the cervix through rhythmic pulsations, thereby assisting in impregnation. Male ORGASM exists for a similar reason, in order to ensure propulsion of sperm through ejaculation. The arousal of the female to the visual image of a big thick cock is an evolutionary mechanism, since the longer a cock, the more capable it is of depositing sperm further up the vagina and closer to the cervix; and the thicker the cock, the tighter the seal it forms with the vagina, thereby reducing spillage of precious sperm.

The reason why females have MULTIPLE ORGASMS is that in the natural world females are meant to be repeatedly overpowered and “RAPED” by passing males, ultimately having ORGASMS only if they subsequently acquiesce to the “RAPIST” because they find him attractive. If the RAPIST is unattractive to her, she won’t ORGASM and his sperm will NOT be drawn up to her cervix. Also, her vagina will be very dry, making the mucosal environment unsuitable for sperm survival and motility, further lowering the chance of her egg being fertilized by the unattractive male.

Scientific studies have shown that symmetrical people are subjectively more attractive to the opposite sex. Interestingly, recent studies have also shown that symmetrical people have far fewer health problems, making them genetically “fitter”. Therefore, the more symmetrical the RAPIST’S features, the more attractive he appears to his RAPEE, the more likely she will submit, ORGASM, and become impregnated by him, and thereby ensure the passage of the most healthy genes to the next generation. Furthermore, contrary to popular belief, females are most likely to be impregnated NOT by the first male that ejaculates inside them over a defined period of time, but by the male who gives them the most intense ORGASM.

So one can conclude that after “full sexual awakening” (“sexual self-actualization”), an enlightened woman will become a complete slut for men’s cocks, participating in promiscuous behaviour, ultimately leading to regular gangbangs, as is her natural calling. As an aside, to assist women in attaining such enlightenment, The Prophet has developed the “AWAKEN THE SLUT WITHIN” program, a free community service described on his web site in the “Church of Dimitri” section. During “AWAKENING” sessions the repressed slut’s feminist demons are cast out through sexual exorcism involving The Prophet’s sacred penis.

Besides turning the reader on, all this talk of RAPE begs the question, “WHAT ABOUT THE LAW?” Most men lack The Prophet’s seduction finesse and ability to identify women that have already AWAKENED their “INNER SLUT”, and WISH to be “RAPED”. As such, most men could not get away with much of the behaviour that The Prophet does. Also, to Dimitri The Lover, a sexual assault charge is merely a speeding ticket on the seduction highway, and unfortunately in North America, speed limits are unnaturally low. Furthermore, most such cases result in acquittals because judges and juries can usually see right through these manipulative cunts. NEVER PLEAD GUILTY TO SEXUAL ASSAULT. If your lawyer tries to convince you to, FIRE HIM and retain a COMPETENT LAWYER that is not afraid to stand up to the attention-seeking parasite in court. However, having to fight such a charge can be very costly and inconvenient.

Nonetheless, according to the protocols of the Rasputin Method of Seduction developed by Dimitri The Lover, it is imperative that as much physical contact as possible occur during the initial interaction with a slut in order to set the tone for future sessions. Regrettably, due to absurd, unnatural, feminist-inspired North American laws which run contrary to our natural biological urges, men are restricted from groping women at will. So as ridiculous as it is, touching must be “consensual”. The key is getting women to feel both comfortable and aroused at the thought of being treated like a piece of meat at a slave auction.

As mentioned in the “Courses by Dimitri” section of Dimitri The Lover’s web site, according to the “REBOOT PRINCIPLE”, a man is like a computer. His cock and body are the hardware. As long as a man is clean, in decent shape, fairly attractive, healthy, and able to get it up, in principle his hardware is compatible with the female peripheral hardware, the latter functioning most effectively when under the complete control of the male CPU. A man’s "basic operating system" is composed of “RAPIST” and “MURDERER” programs which have been hard-wired into his brain. This hard wiring cannot be altered, and becomes more evident as the man enters puberty, and his hormones throw it into overdrive.

“SAFETY SOFTWARE” which prevents the man from acting on his natural urges to RAPE and MURDER is loaded by society during puberty and adolescence. Some men have “bad sectors” which prevent the software from loading properly, and they therefore resort to criminality. Any additional programs which are loaded by society, such as “maternal guilt”, “anti-sexual harassment”, “men are bad”, “corporate appropriateness”, “men are sensitive”, “metrosexual”, “monogamy”, etc., are completely unnecessary. Furthermore, simultaneously running all of these useless, virulent societal programs overwhelms the man’s brain and makes mating inefficient. These programs create incompatibility between the female peripheral unit and the male operating system. Also, it is helpful to think of a heterosexual as a “PC” and a homosexual as a “Mac”--both function fine within their respective networks (the rarer Mac being more artistic and the plentiful PC being more autistic). Some units possess cross-compatibility (i.e. bisexuals). Though come to think of it, the analogy doesn’t quite work when it comes to viruses, since Mac’s don’t get any (Yes, it’s an HIV joke. Live with it).

PRIMITIVE MAN was a REAL MAN. Unfortunately, he over-evolved into MODERN MAN, then due to factors described in our AUGUST MEETING ANNOUNCEMENT, “evolved” one step further into the METROSEXUAL or FEMINIZED MAN. It is important that all men de-evolve back into REAL MEN. Proof that MODERN MEN still have PRIMITIVE MAN within them is displayed when MODERN MEN are able to “GANG RAPE” women without remorse because they feel “Group or Tribal Immunity”, and instinctively go back to their primordial roots.

Using these principles, Dimitri The Lover created the “REBOOT PROGRAM”, which basically de-evolves wimpy MODERN MEN into far more sexually appealing PRIMITIVE MEN. Using the computer equivalent of a “HARD REBOOT”, the man is stripped down to the basic operating system, and built back up ONLY to the point of loading SAFETY SOFTWARE to prevent RAPE and MURDER. In essence, the man is now operating in a perpetual “SAFE MODE” state with minimal programs running in the background. Then mechanisms are put in place to help the man notice and prevent the undesirable downloading of virulent societal programs. He is taught how to spot female peripherals with compatible basic operating systems and how to reformat the female hard drive in order to load more appropriate, COMPLIANT programs. Men are taught to make peace with their “INNER RAPIST” and are given the strength to REFUSE to seduce a woman if it involves spending a lot of time and money. Even if you are wealthy, you should NEVER do so both out of sheer principle and as a courtesy to your less well-heeled brothers. If no one gave beggars change, there would be no beggars. Similarly, if no one submitted to the sexual manipulation of “dinner/drink whores”, then no women would be spoiled, and all women would be content to spread their legs after a coffee. Dimitri The Lover refers to men who wind up wining and dining women as MALE SCABS for breaking the sexual union line.

Furthermore, it is important that all REAL MEN recognize and cease those maladaptive behaviours which, without consciously realizing, they use as outlets to “numb” their “INNER RAPIST”, and subsequently quell their natural sex drive. Some of these habits are...

Once these behaviours are eliminated, REAL MEN focus on their true purpose in life: ejaculating inside multiple women’s orifices as many times as possible each day.

How does understanding the REBOOT PRINCIPLE help you get laid? Well, when a woman rejects a man who appears to be physically compatible with her, she is not rejecting the hardware, but merely displaying an “error message” due to incompatibility with the man’s programming. Dimitri The Lover has shown time and time again that re-programming the man will eliminate these annoying “error messages” in all instances except when the female’s operating system is corrupted beyond repair by mal-programming from things such as previous sexual abuse. REBOOTED men recognize when society and the women around them are attempting covert emasculation, and they thwart those attempts with powerful resolve.

REBOOTED men are taught to shift their thinking by looking at the mating ritual as a “hunt” for prey, rather than a “game” with winners and losers. Advances toward women are like chucking spears. A “rejection” is tantamount to missing your prey--you just pick up your spear and go for it again. The more spears you throw, the better your aim will become. As long you hit SOMETHING by the end of the day, your hunt has been successful. Some prey is just way too elusive to catch (a hot bitchy man-hating cunt) while other prey is easy to catch yet unappetizing (a fat desperate chick). REBOOTED men have learned to recognize which prey is most vulnerable to their advances while still making a tasty treat.

IMPORTANT OBSERVATION: Any intelligent person is amply aware that if there were no laws within society, men would be constantly jumping sexy women on the street and RAPING them. When they’d get bored with the RAPEE, they would just toss her aside, like a used, soiled sofa on the curb waiting for the trash collector. If she was not much the worse for wear and appeared capable of handling more service as a cumdumpster, shortly thereafter she would then be picked up by another RAPIST that viewed her as “nearly new”. At times, RAPISTS from other tribes would attack men’s homes and steal away their sluts for their own sexual purposes. Such is the NATURAL ORDER of the “courtship ritual”.

However, this NATURAL ORDER has one problem which makes it incompatible with the artificial order of a civilized society: every woman is CHATTEL owned by a man--be it a boyfriend, husband, father, brother, religious order, pimp, or diesel dyke--someone owns the slut. When you defile someone else’s CHATTEL (like keying a Gino’s Camaro) you may receive severe retribution. As such, men would be MURDERING other men who RAPED their women. As horny, important men (politicians, judges, lawyers, C.E.O.’s, etc) are MURDERED, “civilized” society would disintegrate (also, half the NBA would be wiped out!). For that reason and that reason ONLY (NOT because anyone truly cares about the feelings of the “RAPEE”), “RAPE” MUST REMAIN ILLEGAL. However, other forms of “sexual assault”, such as ass grabs, tit grabs, gropings, etc., like marijuana possession, should ALL be decriminalized and result in nothing more than a fine (kind of like seduction speeding tickets, to use the earlier analogy, with RAPE equivalent to “Dangerous Driving Causing Bodily Harm”, and resulting in jail time).

So the theme of our next TORONTO REAL MEN meeting is “AWAKEN AND ULEASH THE DOUCHEBAG WITHIN!” It will feature Dimitri The Lover lecturing for 3 solid hours on how to identify women who have AWAKENED their “INNER SLUT” by carefully observing their “SLUT WALK” and “SLUT GAIT”, and how to LEGALLY RAPE THEM INTO SUBMISSION and eventual SEXUAL ENSLAVEMENT using your MIND rather than your body, then slowly escalate up to physical groping, without ever breaking the law. He will also discuss what patented approach lines to use, customized to each type of vulnerable slut. He will teach you how to identify which variety of slut is least likely to have a negative reaction (or contact the authorities) when one forcibly gropes or slaps her big juicy ass. This meeting is ideal for men who want to overcome shyness and approach fears.

Men are often amazed at how Dimitri The Lover is able to convince women he just met on the street and in the shopping mall to be kissed, fondled, and groped. Women are made to perform 360 degree turns in public in order to be evaluated for physical attributes, including ass-to-waist ratio. Often the visual examination is accompanied by ass slapping, kissing, and pulling back clothing to examine their cleavage and ass crack. Also, Dimitri The Lover finds that in certain situations seduction can be rapidly accelerated by whipping his cock out in the car before going to a coffee date, for the express purpose of showing his prey what’s in store for her after she gulps down her latte!

Therefore, Dimitri The Lover will also review how to QUICKLY AND LEGALLY introduce kissing and touching into your first interaction with a woman. He will outline sneaky ways in which to fondle a woman without making it appear that you are doing so for sexual gratification. Dimitri The Lover will discuss how to deal with objections to being touched by making the woman feel that her physical inhibitions and inconveniently large personal space are due to psychological issues and brainwashing by puritan North American society, rather than free will.

Dimitri The Lover will teach you how to become a successful sexual predator by using ARROGANT DOUCHEBAGGERY to overpower a woman’s defenses and force her to concede to your innate sexual authority. In a segment titled “NO MEANS MAYBE”, you will be taught how to sexually steamroll over a woman’s objections during a sexual encounter, like Homer Simpson in his Mr. Plow truck, rather than overtly asking permission to get physical with her (a favourite expression of JFK was “I’d rather beg forgiveness than ask permission”). Also, you will learn how to become an anal expulsive pig that refuses to be manipulated through cockteasing.

The Prophet will review how to utilize the DOUCHIEST VOICEMAIL MESSAGES to both amuse and confound a slut to the point where she MUST call to berate you, at which time you will spring a mind-fucking psychological trap on her! He will discuss the most subliminally effective tone of voice, cadence, and wording for the messages, so as to simultaneously evoke disgust and intrigue. He will provide all meeting attendees with a copy of a DOUCHEY FLYER that he hands to any single, desperately underfucked woman that admits her physical attractiveness to him, yet refuses to submit to his sexual advances, even though he is not charging her money for the service. Finally, Dimitri The Lover will give meeting attendees some inside information concerning his upcoming Hollywood documentary, which is being co-produced with some of the people involved with the Borat and Bruno films.


Most “seduction gurus” teach men that they must LIE overtly, greatly exaggerate, or omit vital information to the point where for all intents and purposes they are LYING. However, if you are a REAL MAN you must NEVER LIE to seduce a woman. ALL women have an INNER SLUT and want to get fucked as badly as we do. Dimitri The Lover is the most HONEST person you will ever meet, to the point where he offends a lot of people by being so straightforward (for example, this meeting announcement is composed totally of his unfiltered thoughts). He NEVER LIES to women and still gets fucked lots.

LYING is the most immoral act one can commit. The psyche of a REAL MAN is NOT wired to LIE. Notice how a woman always knows when you are LYING? They claim it is “women’s intuition”. Well guess what … THAT’S A BIG FUCKING LIE TOO! They are NOT that intuitive or intelligent. Instead, men are just really BAD LIARS. Why? Once again, a REAL MAN is NOT wired to LIE like a woman. Instead, he commits crimes of passion, such as RAPE and MURDER. However, RAPE and MURDER are NOT IMMORAL (except in cases such as first degree murder for financial gain, which is cold-blooded and involves dishonesty). However, as discussed earlier, these crimes of passion MUST REMAIN ILLEGAL to prevent society from breaking down. On the other hand, LYING is a calculated, cold-blooded, sinister, shameful, cowardly act. It is HIGHLY IMMORAL.

Most women are able to skillfully commit such immoralities for two reasons. Firstly, from a very young age they are brainwashed into thinking that “LITTLE WHITE LIES” are acceptable. They LIE about how much they spent on a pretty thing. They LIE about the number of guys they’ve fucked. After a while, they get very good at LYING. And don’t be fooled by religious chicks … they are by far the BIGGEST AND BEST LIARS out there because they must to lie to cover their moral indiscretions in order to prevent community scorn or excommunication. Furthermore, if you can LIE about a little thing, you can LIE about ANYTHING!

Secondly, recent studies have shown that dogs have evolved both a sympathy-evoking stare that pulls on humans’ heartstrings and an ability to display their needs by repeatedly glancing between us and an object that represents their needs. Similarly, women are hard-wired with a “LYING GENE”, bestowing upon them an innate ability to LIE with a straight or flirty face. Since they are not as big and strong as us, this gene is a protective mechanism which evolved over hundreds of thousands of years to help them avoid being RAPED by unfit males. In primitive times it may have involved fake sexy looks and grunts to buy the trust of an ugly caveman that just kidnapped them, then bolting from his cave the moment his guard was down. Nowadays, it involves things like keeping a totally straight face whilst giving out fake phone numbers or pretending to have a boyfriend. It includes dressing like a slut but never intending to fuck anyone (cocktease); or giving men the false impression they will put out after an expensive dinner. Furthermore, it is for this reason that there is no loyalty or cohesiveness amongst groups of women. They know they are ALL LIARS and they do NOT trust one another. On the other hand, men can have honest camaraderie and can build strong bonds of loyalty, even after a short acquaintance.

Most women have absolutely no scruples and deserve only the most basic respect, such as that which would be afforded to a dog. It is beneath you as a REAL MAN to lower yourself to the level of a tri-orificed being by playing her despicable mind games. You were born with a proud penis. You are superior. They are beneath you. NEVER FORGET THAT! The reason why Dimitri The Lover prefers loving relationships with LESBIANS is because they think like men and RARELY LIE. Also, there are many bisexual women out there that think like men and do not LIE. If you do come across one, MARRY HER IMMEDIATELY! Interestingly, Dimitri The Lover has observed that women who get along better with men than women, and prefer the company of men in friendships, tend to be as honest as men. Women that prowl around in groups, such as those that go “clubbing” together, are tantamount to a gypsy gang of skilled LIARS that cover up for one another with LIES and teach one another how to LIE to their respective boyfriends.


Most LESBIANS have an AWAKENED INNER SLUT. However, it is a virtually unknown fact within the scientific community that a significant percentage of LESBIANS actually cannot stand being around women for anything other than brief sexual gratification. They find the idea of walking down the street holding hands with other women silly. They don’t want to go shopping or out to brunch with other women. They don’t want to live with them in a matrimonial situation. Instead, they want to eat pussy, and have the slut leave immediately thereafter. They think like men. Interestingly, these “penisless men” tend to be much more intelligent than mainstream LESBIANS; and their sexual fantasies are far more intricate. Also, many of these LESBIANS are misogynists that are thrilled by the idea of abusing women, i.e. fantasies like watching a pretty young slut get gang raped or pissed upon are quite common.

Furthermore, when this type of LESBIAN watches gangbang porn, she will usually identify with the men rather than the slut getting pounded like a piece of schnitzel. In a real life situation, this type of LESBIAN will often want to wear a strap-on dildo and join the gangbangers in the filthy act. And you will notice that after she fastens on the dildo, without consciously realizing it, she will begin stroking it as if it were HER OWN COCK, because subconsciously she is identifying herself as a male! Dimitri The Lover is the first seduction researcher in the world to document the phenomenon of LESBIANS who basically consider themselves “a man born without a penis”. They objectify women like a man does, prefer men over women as friends, and cannot stand being around women for longer than a couple of hours at a time (who can blame them?). What is even more remarkable is that they ACTUALLY PREFER TO BE IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN !!! Usually they choose extremely dominant men who take on a “daddy” role in the relationship, so it becomes less of a mainstream matrimonial thing and more of a “daddy wants me to eat pussy” situation. Interestingly, the fathers of these women are often emotionally abusive and/or controlling.

These women are usually closeted within the quasi-Orwellian LESBIAN community, fearful of a violent intervention if their LESBIAN sisters become privy to the fact that they cannot fathom the thought of being in a relationship with any of them. Or in the alternative, these women are closeted within the heterosexual community, not wanting their husbands/boyfriends to know the full extent of their desire to munch carpet. Even though this type of LESBIAN almost exclusively prefers the sexual pleasure of being with women (with the only male-female sex she enjoys being that with the man she loves), she will falsely identify herself as “bisexual”. Nonetheless, when these women are embedded in the heterosexual community, they enjoy polygamous and polyamorous relationships, often dragging their elated husbands/boyfriends around to swingers’ clubs in order to hunt for cute young bisexual sluts to fulfill their intense LESBIAN needs. These types of LESBIANS make the PERFECT WIFE for a polygamous man in that they are sexual predators with a constant craving for cunt, often with an appetite for much younger women, and rarely get jealous when their husbands are leering at hot young sluts as they are walking hand-in-hand. This type of male-female relationship is even more sexually charged than that of a male-male couple!

To help demonstrate this phenomenon, Dimitri The Lover will draw upon a SPECIAL GUEST during the meeting--a LESBIAN that has become a regular attendee since first being invited to speak to the group in June. The Prophet met her while she was standing on Bloor Street. Within two hours she went from being manhandled in his car, to receiving the multi-orifice penetration of her life! She never once resisted, instead submitting to his POWERFUL MALE AUTHORITY as he overruled every one of her objections, like a judge in a post-9-11 American fascist kangaroo court. She will reveal what The Prophet said and did to cause her to totally submit to his sexual advances. She will also discuss how she has now been sexually enslaved to do his bidding. She will explain why many of her LESBIAN girlfriends are dying to be approached by aggressive men (but all they get is stares from horny guys, the odd compliment like “you have nice hair”, and absolutely no follow-through). Meeting attendees will have the opportunity to interview her, and she will answer all reasonable questions posed. One final point: she is now the High Priestess for the Church of Dimitri of Latter Day Sluts.



Some of our attendees have expressed irrational concern over the legality of sexually propositioning women who are going about their day to day business. In particular, a few months ago while in a coffee shop, one of our members complimented a woman on her stunning ass, and was subsequently reported by her to the police. Uniformed officers showed up, correctly informed him that he had done NOTHING ILLEGAL, but then requested his contact information anyway, as is routine. Even though he had ABSOLUTELY NO LEGAL OBLIGATION TO DO SO BECAUSE HE HAD COMMITTED NO CRIME, he naively provided his name and telephone number. He gave in quicker than a welfare mom after a steak dinner! Therefore, Dimitri The Lover will also review the legalities of what one can and can’t do when accosting a woman. This special legal portion of the lecture will allow you to pursue vulnerable women more aggressively, with complete confidence that you will never contravene any laws. Topics that will help protect your RIGHT TO KEEP AND BEAR COCK will include:

Due to the controversial nature of this meeting, all attendees will be thoroughly searched for recording devices before entering. Also, all attendees must swear that they will not disclose to the outside world any of the secrets revealed at this very special meeting. MAKE SURE TO BRING A WRITING PAD AND PEN TO TAKE NOTES !!!

Meeting Announcements

⇒ October 2009