What Is Toronto Real Men?

⇒ Homosexual Male Ban

WHY ARE HOMOSEXUAL MEN DENIED ENTRY?

(pardon the pun)

The purpose of TORONTO REAL MEN meetings is to teach both men and women how to seduce hot, horny sluts. Heterosexual men, bisexual men, bisexual women, and lesbians are ALL interested in seducing sluts. Homosexual men are NOT! There is no justifiable reason for homosexual men to attend TORONTO REAL MEN meetings. However, they still try to infiltrate groups dealing with female seduction for several reasons, including the facts that:

• They get sexually aroused when they listen to heterosexual men discussing anything to do with sex or getting laid.
• Their biggest sexual fantasy is seducing a heterosexual man; so they attend in the futile hope that some sexually frustrated straight guy will accept their offer of “no strings attached oral” with the justification that “if you don’t look down you won’t know who’s doing it”.
• They cannot accept their homosexuality and are under the false notion that attending testosterone-filled meetings amongst heterosexual men will change their sexual orientation. (Dimitri The Lover is especially saddened by the fact that even in the 21st century, due to familial or religious pressure, some homosexual men still feel this way)

Dimitri The Lover did seriously consider the idea of placing a one-way mirror in the back of the room and charging homosexual men $40 for the privilege of observing his lecture whilst masturbating themselves or one another. He would then have applied these proceeds toward the cost of holding the meeting. So in essence, each masturbating fag would have subsidized the admission of one horny straight guy, thereby allowing the heterosexual men free admission.

However, Dimitri The Lover was concerned that in the same way scientists can only speculate on what chain of events transpires when matter and anti-matter meet, bringing masculinity and anti-masculinity in such close proximity to one another in time and space could have led to disastrous consequences, such as the formation of a time-space rift. He hypothesized that all of the meeting participants could have potentially been sucked into a “masculinity vortex”—a “gay black hole” so to speak—never to be seen or heard from again. He could not take that chance. Furthermore, no one was willing to clean up the area behind the mirror afterwards, and there was also the fear that the mirror idea was just a slippery slope down the path of glory hole construction and subsequent mass metrosexualization of the attendees.