Meeting Announcements

⇒ September 2009


September 9, 2009

During a TORONTO REAL MEN meeting a few months ago Dimitri The Lover discussed how to smoothly progress to kissing, hugging and groping within moments of your first interaction with a slut walking down the street, followed by how to rapidly escalate the encounter into casual sex. After the meeting a persistent attendee begged Dimitri The Lover to reveal some of his SECRET GUARANTEED PICK-UP SPOTS throughout the Greater Toronto Area. To date Dimitri The Lover has only provided GENERAL information on the types of venues at which to pick up hot easy sluts, carefully guarding the exact location of prime territory for himself.

After a few months to carefully consider the above request, Dimitri The Lover has decided to finally reveal the SECRET GUARANTEED PICK-UP SPOTS throughout the GTA that he has painstakingly documented over the last 10 years. Why the change of heart? Primarily because recent publicity regarding his much anticipated Hollywood documentary has led to Dimitri The Lover being overwhelmed with offers of hot, horny, perverted teen & cougar pussy. Now his souvlaki is so over-marinated that he has neither the time nor the necessity to frequent these venues.

Furthermore, the metrosexuals prancing around in these SECRET GUARANTEED PICK-UP SPOTS couldn’t fuck their way out of a wet paper bag, let alone properly seduce then pleasure a nympho slut looking for a capable lover. As a SEXUAL ENVIRONMENTALIST, Dimitri The Lover is concerned that if he does not allow other men to hunt for beaver at these sites, a masculinity vacuum will be left by his sudden absence. That will result in the orifices of the nympho sluts within herds wandering through these regions entering a period of prolonged genital cooling. Such a phenomenon would be dangerous to the SEXUAL ENVIRONMENT by negating decades of Dimitri The Lover’s work in melting vast stretches of feminist glacial formation covering the vulvar topography. Over the years The Prophet has suffered many an ice cream headache while licking these cold cunts out of their sexual ice age!

So the theme of our next TORONTO REAL MEN meeting is “PUSSY BUFFET! GRAB A PLATE!” It will feature Dimitri The Lover lecturing for 3 solid hours on the locations of the GTA’s SECRET GUARANTEED PICK-UP SPOTS, including those for older men to meet hot young sluts, younger men to meet horny executive cougars, and bisexual women and couples to meet dirty carpet-munching artsy sluts. Dimitri The Lover will not only provide exact locations, but also outline time periods during which these love lakes will be so teeming with schools of hot horny sluts, that you risk growing tits from all the estrogen in the atmosphere. And as a special one-time bonus, Dimitri The Lover will provide you with patented opening routines and powerful approach lines, each customized to the copulatory clientele for a specific location. These techniques will spread a nomadic slut’s legs faster than those of a white-bred Toronto Beaches housewife using “afternoon errands” as cover for a clandestine rendezvous at Dimitri The Lover’s waterfront fuck pad.

PLEASE NOTE: Dimitri The Lover is a trained MEDICAL DOCTOR. He does not consume alcohol because it competes for clearance through the liver’s cytochrome P450 chain with the estrogen naturally produced in a man’s peripheral adipose tissue, thereby feminizing the man, lowering his testosterone levels, and preventing him from achieving his full sexual potential. THEREFORE, NONE OF THESE SECRET GUARANTEED PICK-UP SPOTS ARE EITHER BARS OR NIGHTCLUBS. STOP WASTING YOUR TIME AND MONEY!!! AT NIGHT REAL MEN ARE AT HOME FUCKING SLUTS, GIRLFRIENDS, & WIVES (PREFERABLY ALL 3 SIMULTANEOUSLY), AND NOT DESPERATELY WANDERING THE STREETS LOOKING FOR DRUNKEN TRI-ORIFICED BEINGS TO CONQUER. There are no lines to stand in, drinks to buy, covers to pay, or waiting until the wee hours of the morning to realize that you are NOT getting laid. You can take full advantage of Dimitri The Lover’s SECRET GURANTEED PICK-UP SPOTS on your way home from work or school, WITHOUT SPENDING A DIME, and while you are running other errands (as The Prophet teaches his disciples, ABC: ALWAYS BE COMING ON!) Also, you get to see women without tons of makeup on, as they would appear in real life; so there are no surprises the next morning when you wake up next to a hideous, voluminous hag. And, because the SECRET GURANTEED PICK-UP SPOT is often near the respective slut’s home, sex will likely occur at HER place, which is ideal if you are a guy that still lives with family. Finally, cougars’ fridges are usually handsomely stocked, providing you with a free meal after blowing your wad, and the fulfillment of any Oedipal fantasies you may have!

In addition to the above, anyone attending TORONTO REAL MEN meetings for a while knows that during each meeting Dimitri The Lover casually reviews various PICK-UP HOT SPOTS throughout the city of Toronto and surrounding suburbs in which one will always find sexy, easy, desperately underfucked sluts. Unfortunately, between the time he spends answering seduction questions from horny men, and the time he sets aside to review the chosen topic of the month, there is no opportunity to document each PICK-UP HOT SPOT in great detail.

So during this TORONTO REAL MEN meeting Dimitri The Lover will also be lecturing in more detail on EXACTLY WHERE to find horny, sexy, easy sluts, EXACTLY WHEN to visit each PICK-UP HOT SPOT to ensure maximum PPSF (Pussy Per Square Foot), and EXACTLY HOW to approach the local sluts in a manner that allows you to achieve rapid unhindered tri-orifice penetration … usually within an hour of meeting. Dimitri The Lover will review in painstaking detail the location of every PICK-UP HOT SPOT in the city, including the type of beaver teeming in each vaginal goldmine. He will also reveal which customized approach to use for each specific venue in order to ensure maximum FPA (Fuck Per Approach).

Dimitri The Lover will provide both PPSF and FPA ratings for each PICK-UP HOT SPOT (grocery store, shopping mall, coffee shop, tourist area, place you never thought of, etc.) and give specifics on the type of sexual action a man with the right set of seduction tools is guaranteed to score by hunting at each bastion of beaver. And if that wasn’t enough, at the end of the meeting The Prophet will bestow a RASPUTIN AWARD upon the top venue in each category for each specific type of conquest, as follows:

Furthermore, the vast majority of these women are NEVER approached in the PICK-UP HOT SPOTS that Dimitri The Lover will unveil, so their guards are totally down, and they have little time to block your sexual advances by morphing into “Uptight North American Feminist Cunt” mode. Therefore, they are exceptionally vulnerable to the right set of seduction lines … provided they are delivered as smoothly and with as straight a face as a major league baseball player denying steroid abuse during a news conference. Also, your approach will come across as totally random and sincere in that these ROMANTICALLY SHELL-SHOCKED SLUTS would never believe that any sane man would dare to breach the protocol of the suggested venue by soliciting a sexual rendezvous, thereby making them feel exceptional. They will be shocked that you are propositioning them while they are going about their day to day business, yet simultaneously so flattered and in such admiration of your bravery and audacity, they will often spread their legs faster than a hot single teen mom after the creepy guy next door buys her kids a round of McDonald’s Happy Meals!

Finally, based on Dimitri The Lover’s vast sexual experience, Toronto is the most difficult city in North America in which to get laid … let alone score the ultimate mother-daughter threesome! Until proven otherwise, most local women assume that you are an HIV-infected serial rapist. Also, many Toronto women are so caught up in themselves and their careers, that only the most adept of seducers can aggressively penetrate their cold bitchy armour. However, women in certain parts of THE 905 AREA CODE which surrounds Toronto are much more naïve and therefore much easier to seduce.

So a special segment of this TORONTO REAL MEN meeting will be titled “905 KEEPS YOUR COCK ALIVE”. It will feature Dimitri The Lover lecturing on how to seduce hot sluts in THE 905 AREA CODE. He will discuss WHERE to meet horny, bored suburban sluts, from hot college girls to desperate cougars, and HOW to easily seduce them (often within hours of meeting). There are several gems within a 30 minute drive of Toronto where getting laid is a relative snap … and many of them are places you never would have thought of!

WINTER COAT WARNING: Dating during the cooler months in Canada is analogous to a “scratch and win” prize in a department store. Just like you never know what surprise you’re getting until you hit the cash register, with sluts going about their day to day business, you never know what you’re getting until the coat comes off: a hard-bodied hottie, an hour-glassed honey, or the Pillsbury Dough Girl! Therefore, Dimitri The Lover will also teach you how to convince the women you are wooing for random, anonymous sex, to unzip or unbutton their clothing in a forthright manner, so that you can confirm they don’t come with their own gravitational field.

SPECIAL BONUS: Many attendees have expressed the desire to become paid “gigolos” for financially secure women. On a weekly basis Dimitri The Lover is offered money, gifts, dinners, proposals of marriage, etc., from affluent women desperately seeking great sex and company (however, he has NEVER accepted such offers). Therefore, he will review how to spot a sexy, vulnerable woman, and what methods to utilize in order to garner her trust. He will reveal how to slowly exploit the relationship by using Pavlovian conditioning methods to steadily build up the cash value of your cock relative to her cunt. The Prophet will teach you how to covertly introduce “cock value” into the relationship by having the slut perform slave-like tasks, such as cook dinner for you or clean your home, as a prelude to you offering her more cock. Like Pavlov’s dogs, she will never associate the sound of the bell with the salivation! Dimitri The Lover will also briefly touch on sexual enslavement as a means by which to emotionally and financially exploit lonely, vulnerable women who are on the rebound from relationships with insecure, possessive, abusive metrosexuals and jocks.

Due to the controversial nature of this meeting, all attendees will be thoroughly searched for recording devices before entering. Also, all attendees must swear that they will not disclose the SECRET GUARANTEED PICK-UP SPOTS revealed at this very special meeting to the outside world. MAKE SURE TO BRING A WRITING PAD AND PEN TO TAKE NOTES !!!

Meeting Announcements

⇒ September 2009